Domestic violence and abuse
Domestic violence or abuse can happen to anyone. Find out how to recognise the signs and where to get help.
If you're worried someone might see you have visited this page, the Women Aid website offers information on how to cover your tracks. https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/cover-your-tracks-online/
Domestic violence, also called domestic abuse, includes physical, emotional and sexual abuse in couple relationships or between family members.
Domestic violence can happen against anyone, and anybody can be an abuser.
Getting help for Domestic Violence & Abuse
You do not have to wait for an emergency situation to find help. If domestic abuse is happening to you, it's important to tell someone and remember you're not alone. You can also find help and support on gov.uk - https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help
You can also email for support. It is important that you specify when and if it is safe to respond and to which email address:
The Survivor's Handbook from the charity Women's Aid is free and provides information for women on a wide range of issues, such as housing, money, helping your children, and your legal rights.
If you're worried that you are behaving abusively in your relationship, call the free Respect Phoneline on 0808 802 4040.
Signs of Domestic Violence & Abuse
There are different kinds of abuse, but it's always about having power and control over you.
If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you might be in an abusive relationship or experiencing domestic abuse.
Does your partner or someone you live with ever:
Does your partner or someone you live with ever:
The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways.
Does your partner or someone you live with ever:
Sexual abuse can happen to anyone.
Does your partner or someone you live with ever:
If anyone has sex with you when you do not want to, this is rape. It is still rape if that person is your partner.
Have you ever felt afraid of your partner?
Have you ever changed your behaviour because you're afraid of what your partner might do?
If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, there are lots of people who can help you.
Domestic violence and abuse against women often starts during pregnancy. If the relationship is already abusive, it can get worse.
Find out more about domestic abuse in pregnancy:-
https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/support/domestic-abuse-in-pregnancy/
Helping a friend if they are being abused.
If you're worried a friend is being abused, let them know you've noticed something is wrong.
They might not be ready to talk, but try to find quiet times when they can talk if they choose to.
If someone confides in you that they're suffering domestic abuse:
If you decide to leave
The first step in escaping an abusive situation is realising that you're not alone and it's not your fault.
Before you go, try to get advice from an organisation such as:
If you're considering leaving, be careful who you tell. It's important the person abusing you does not know where you're going.
Women's Aid has useful information about making a safety plan that applies to both women and men, including advice if you decide to leave.
Finally...
Schools often have a Domestic Abuse Champion who is someone has undergone further training to be able to support victims - here at Botley, our DAC is Shaeen Yasin (who is also the Deputy Safeguarding Lead and works closely with our families). Do reach out to her either in person or by email - shineyasin@botley.oxon.sch.uk
However, following a case review in Oxfordshire, it was recommended that schools should be mindful of the prevalence of Domestic Abuse and that this may be impacting any of their students. Victims and witnesses can be too fearful to report so may not feel able to do this but as a starting point we would signpost you to the services available in Oxfordshire - you can find more details by visiting :-
https://a2dominion.co.uk/services/domestic-abuse-support-services